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TNW Creations Hates SPAM

When a vendor I admire sends a sales person to solicit me.... I have to pause and reflect...

 

Do I want to make them cry and question their life like I do the others? No.

But... I still hate SPAM.

 

So here's what I wanted to say in an email today VS what I said,

I really hate to mark your email as spam. I am not sure why you think I would like to explain my process to you. But I don't have the time or interest.

 

How do we handle our security? Like a boss.

 

We don't need whatever it is you're selling. And my reply is the most courteous you'll ever find from me when it comes to unrequested solicitations.

 

Enjoy the rest of your day and please remove me from your email list."

.VS.

What I actually said, "Hi, we do not need a demo, please remove me from your email list. Have a good day!"

Sigh. I hate SPAM.

I hate unsolicited sales of any kind.

 

I scared the beejees (heh) out of the last salesgirl that showed up at my door.

 

You're thinking with a gun right? After all, this is Texas and I'm an Army Vet...

No.

 

Yelling?

No.

 

Solicitors are trained to expect those reactions.

 

My methods take a finely tuned degree of, "loathing for all things unsolicited" coupled with the salt of Linus Torvalds, the IDGAC of Batman and topped off with the channeling of my Southern Grandmother.

 

I answered deliberately slow and sweet, articulating every syllable while I told her I knew she read the signs but chose to ignore them... pausing for effect. Making no threats, but somehow my words dripped with venom.

 

She was visibly shaking.

 

I don't think she even knew why she was scared. It's the unknown. Why did this person react this way and what do they know that I don't know. And... how fast can I run.

 

My family cautiously came out of their hidden parts of the house as I spoke... their mouths agape. As the girl scurried away, they were stunned, saying I sounded more sweetly menacing than anything they'd ever imagined.

 

I was equated to Lady Bone Demon (thank you, nice compliment) from Lego Monkey Kid.

I suspect the salesgirl had no idea why my words had that affect on her.

 

Sorry hon... I don't need your security.

 

I am security.

TNW Creations is a Web Development & Media Publishing Agency in Austin, Texas. Web Development, cyber security, web design, clean energy web host, Advanced SEO, Digital Marketing and more since 1995.

I've been programming, designing, writing and publishing professionally online since 1995. I've worn many hats throughout my life, but the common core of my career has always been media. Besides the portfolio you see on TNW Creations, my internet presence has been substantial for over 2 decades. In 1995, while still in college, I founded TNW Creations and became part of the grassroots development for teaching the Lakhota language online. By 2004, my bilingual work was listed on many sites, including National Geographic , Encarta and Touchstone Pictures Hidalgo. When I'm not developing and writing, you'll find me managing MagicStoryLand.Com, creating kid-friendly game & video content, investigating and initating hostile website takedowns, posting salty articles about cyber threats, moderating UnifyLife.Org and enjoying my  community, church & family.