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Internal Memo to Self, "breathe"

Years ago,

My best friend was battling the ongoing process of adopting her son. We spent many tearful days and nights, talking to each other as the uncertainty of her son’s future and theirs as a family lay ahead. For 3 years, she fought to adopt him and finally… one day, they celebrated his Gotcha Day.

But before that day, for many days, the only thing she could concentrate on was just breathing.


She used this mantra for many experiences, even writing it on a post-it-note for her mother-in-law during an exceptionally stressful time at work and left it in her office, right at eye level.

“Just breathe.”

Not long after that infamous post-it-note, my daughter was irrevocably injured in what can only be described as improbable, after experiencing a 3 week stint of bullying by students she thought were her friends, one of the girls in her Sixth grade class struck her between the eyes with a football. She suffered a grade 3 concussion, permanently lost vision, began having seizures and developed a rare medical condition as a result of the head injury. Doctors told us at the least, she was facing complete blindness. At the worst, we could lose her... The type of injury that the Army sees often from grenade concussions or the hospital finds in car crash victims but rarely in an 11 year old child injured during PE.

I was devastated and bewildered, why did this happen?? And I was so afraid. I’ve never been so fearful in my life. It paralyzed me. We could lose our daughter from the fluid pressing on her brain.

My friend sent me notes at night while I sat in my child’s hospital room, “How are you doing?"

“Terrified. “

“Just breathe. “

“Okay. “

2 years later, my friend’s mother-in-law was succumbing to cancer. The panic, the fear, the gripping emotional depth of everything the family experienced… it was hard to take one day at a time.

She reminded herself to breathe.

And now here we are, in this unbelievable scenario around the world, closed up, isolated, worried, scared, anxious, stressed, angry. Even I as a full-blown Introvert have felt loss from this isolation. I never thought I would miss people…. I’ve always joked about being a cave person, BatMom, liking my never-ending alone time…

We are going through unprecedented changes. And it’s not easy. It’s hard. It’s unbelievable.
It’s okay to be sad, upset… scared.

Just breathe.

TNW Creations is a Web Development & Media Publishing Agency in Austin, Texas. Web Development, cyber security, web design, clean energy web host, Advanced SEO, Digital Marketing and more since 1995.

I've been programming, designing, writing and publishing professionally online since 1995. I've worn many hats throughout my life, but the common core of my career has always been media. Besides the portfolio you see on TNW Creations, my internet presence has been substantial for over 2 decades. In 1995, while still in college, I founded TNW Creations and became part of the grassroots development for teaching the Lakhota language online. By 2004, my bilingual work was listed on many sites, including National Geographic , Encarta and Touchstone Pictures Hidalgo. When I'm not developing and writing, you'll find me managing MagicStoryLand.Com, creating kid-friendly game & video content, investigating and initating hostile website takedowns, posting salty articles about cyber threats, moderating UnifyLife.Org and enjoying my  community, church & family.