Internal Memo to Self, "breathe"

My best friend was battling the ongoing process of adopting her son. We spent many tearful days and nights, talking to each other as the uncertainty of her son’s future and theirs as a family lay ahead. For 3 years, she fought to adopt him and finally… one day, they celebrated his Gotcha Day.

But before that day, for many days, the only thing she could concentrate on was just breathing.

“Breathe.”

She used this mantra for many experiences, even writing it on a post-it-note for her mother-in-law during an exceptionally stressful time at work and left it in her office, right at eye level.

Not long after that infamous post-it-note, my daughter was irrevocably injured in what can only be described as improbable, after experiencing a 3 week stint of bullying by students she thought were her friends, one of the girls in her Sixth grade class struck her between the eyes with a football. She suffered a grade 3 concussion, permanently lost vision, began having seizures and developed a rare medical condition as a result of the head injury. Doctors told us at the least, she was facing complete blindness. At the worst, we could lose her... The type of injury that the Army sees often from grenade concussions or the hospital finds in car crash victims but rarely in an 11 year old child injured during PE.

I was devastated and bewildered, why did this happen?? And I was so afraid. I’ve never been so fearful in my life. It paralyzed me. We could lose our daughter from the fluid pressing on her brain.

My friend sent me notes at night while I sat in my child’s hospital room, “How are you doing?"

“Terrified. “

“Just breathe. “

“Okay. “

2 years later, my friend’s mother-in-law was succumbing to cancer. The panic, the fear, the gripping emotional depth of everything the family experienced… it was hard to take one day at a time.

She reminded herself to breathe.

And now here we are, in this unbelievable scenario around the world, closed up, isolated, worried, scared, anxious, stressed, angry. Even I as a full-blown Introvert have felt loss from this isolation. I never thought I would miss people…. I’ve always joked about being a cave person, BatMom, liking my never-ending alone time…

We are going through unprecedented changes. And it’s not easy. It’s hard. It’s unbelievable.
It’s okay to be sad, upset… scared.

Internal Memo to Self, "breathe"

Just breathe.

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